Love & Marriage

As I approach the first anniversary of my third marriage, recall a poem I wrote during the troubled times of my second marriage. When things aren't going well, it's easy to blame the other person for your problems. In reality though, we are rarely victims of our circumstances. There are actions we can take, ways be can become, attributes toward which we can move. As I re-read this poem, I saw that many of the ideas could be translated to the worlds of business and leadership as well.

Marriage has caused me to be ...
Patient when I was in a hurry
Accepting when I wanted to judge
Forgiving when I wanted to be righteous... and it's so delicious to be right
Taken care of when I wanted to be self-sufficient
Self sufficient when I wanted to be taken care of
Strong when it was easier to be weak
Courageous when I wanted to be a wimp
Soft when I wanted to fight
Intimate when I wanted to be independent
Independent when I wanted to be submissive
A model when I wanted to give up on my ideals
Flexible when I wanted to be rigid
Loving when it was easier to blame
A leader when it felt safer to follow
A follower when I wanted to take charge
Patient when I wanted to be demanding
Demanding when it was easier to be passive
Neat when I wanted to be a slob
Decisive when I didn't have the nerve
Responsible when it was easier to be a victim
Outspoken when I would have been quiet
Quiet when I wanted to scream out
Close when I was inclined to be distant
Respectfully distant when I would have preferred to press in
Marriage has caused me to grow when I wanted to stay small
(c) 2002 Loretta Booker